uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
