Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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