I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
