im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
