Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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