is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No subtext here. People are naked.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
