I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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