she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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