I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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