And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
