Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This house was built for laser tag.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
