he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
