I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
