remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
