I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
