I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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