1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
