It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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