Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
