my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
