Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
