This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
