Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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