I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
