The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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