Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize