I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
