I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
