I wish I could punch you in the face.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
