This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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