He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
