but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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