DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
