omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
