We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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