I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
