just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
