There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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