In the future we'll all be gay
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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