Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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