She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
