I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
wow bdsm is so cute
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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