She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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