I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
