told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
