The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
