omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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