omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Operation Purity has been aborted
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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