If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
