end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
