dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
