Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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