Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We have started to decorate penises.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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