the new term for farting is butt boxing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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